


we could stay at home and watch the sunset

by ProgrammingFlawed



Category: Olive Kitteridge - Elizabeth Strout
Genre: Slight Suicidal Ideation, i think, kevin is going through it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:20:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24194203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProgrammingFlawed/pseuds/ProgrammingFlawed
Summary: ugh these two., I’m soft
Relationships: Christopher Kitteridge/Kevin Coulson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	1. Christopher

**Author's Note:**

> ugh these two., I’m soft

The sunset descended on the horizon, right above the lake, which was filled with restless waves. We listened to the water flow swiftly into the rocky cliff as purple, pink and orange charged the sky above. 

I moved back to Maine, even after I said I wouldn’t, mostly because of a falling out with Anne, and maybe because I received a rather troubling letter from my mother. I wanted to stay where I was, but I had a feeling in my gut that tugged at me, so naturally, I listened. However, I learned that she didn’t do anything drastic, leading me to believe it was just another one of her manipulations after our argument. I didn’t want to stay, but quite honestly, I don’t want to go back.

I swallow, deciding to try and get my mind off my thoughts. 

“Isn’t this nice, Kevin?” I asked, calmly, turning to him. He’s been terribly quiet, though, I don’t exactly blame him. He seems lost in his own mind, but it looks as if my voice had snapped him out of it.

“Huh?” He began. I opened my mouth to respond, but closed it again as he continued. “Oh, uh.. yeah, Chris. It’s..really nice.”

I smiled at Kevin before looking back at the sunset. He was never my friend in school, or.. adulthood until now. Not only because I thought he was weird, but because my mother was nicer to him than she was to me, so I really didn’t want to get to know him. But now that we bumped into each other again when we returned to Maine, I’ve gotta say... I’m glad I took the opportunity. 

I sigh as I relax, the gentle breeze moving my hair the smallest bit. The sunset is a nice break from reality. It’s quiet, it’s peaceful.. I think it’s just what I’ve needed. The colors cascading as stars start to shine above is honestly breathtaking, something you only see in movies or pictures. I tilt my head as I slowly kick my legs that are dangling off the edge, leaning back with my hands planted on the cold ground. 

I used to ask myself ‘what’s the point in anything?’, ‘why am I even here?’. Over the years, I’ve finally started to receive an answer, one that I’ve been searching for since childhood. I’m here for moments like these. I’m getting professional help, I’m on medication, and honestly, I’m a lot better than what I was.

But it’s not like that every single day. Some days can be tougher than others, and sometimes I think there’s a reason I am where I am. Like this moment with Kevin, for instance. Maybe I’m here because I need a reminder that there’s good things in life, like taking a moment to take in the colors of the sky, listen to the gentle waves, feel the breeze.. all with a friend by me. This moment is a reminder that maybe life isn’t always going to be so bad, and that things can get better.


	2. Kevin

Christopher and I sat on the edge of the rocky cliff for what felt like hours, although we’ve been here a short time. We walked along the dock by the boats and listened to the seagulls, only stopping to sit here once we noticed the sun beginning to set.

Today doesn’t feel real. That happens to me a lot, where I’ll start to realize that in a certain moment. I could be talking to someone or sitting still and I’ll think back on my day and feel as if it was a dream, or have trouble believing it even happened. This was one of those moments.

I stared off at the lake, squinting as the orange reflection of the sun in the water shone in my eyes, my body feeling almost weightless. I feel as if I could slip and fall to the water below at any given moment, but quite honestly, I don’t move. Would it even be so bad? It’s such a peaceful moment, maybe it would be made even more peaceful, slipping down into the water and being taken under by the waves as I let go of my movement and just go with the water.

Snap out of it, Kevin. 

I sigh softly, looking down, then back at the colors in the ether, admiring the beauty of it all. I must admit, it’s a lovely sight to see and although I feel almost at peace with Chris and the earth, it isn’t permanent like I wish it could be. Soon it’ll be just a memory, and even if I hear people speak about how good memories are, and how wonderful they are to look back on, it doesn’t work for me.

It just.. makes me numb. Empty. Sad. 

The sunset makes me feel nostalgic for something I never even had. It makes me long for a memory that was never mine to own, a time that wasn’t on my clock. Maybe it’s making me miss what could’ve been; the friends I could’ve had, the good times I should’ve gotten.

Or maybe I just didn’t deserve to know what those things were. I don’t know. 

I look at the sun as my hallucinations begin. The sun begins to morph into.. almost a face, the water below starting to turn black as the orb begins to lower into it. I blink a few times, but I only snap out of it as I hear Chris speak.

“Isn’t this nice, Kevin?” He asked me, his tone sounding.. pleasant; almost as if he was enjoying my company. He caught me off guard, though, so I speak first and process what was asked after.

“Huh? Oh, uh... yeah, Chris. It’s.. really nice.”


End file.
